a story by jen goodwin

I fell off, just for awhile. I hope.
The process of getting back on takes time you know.
I know.
Phone calls, emails, networking, blah blah blahs.
Yes I know.
Happy today happy today happy today
Yes I know.

I fall into bed each night. I sleep well. Despite
It all. Sick of it all. In love with it all.
She makes me laugh at least once a day.
I hold back tears at least once a day.
I brush my teeth twice a day

I dreamed last night that I was dancing.
I was light like air, but viscous and sharp like winter wind. Just how I like it. Hitting the floor hard, but knowing I would bounce back.
My body ricocheted off the floor as if it were a rubber bullet.
Floor sweet, sweet floor.
My horizontal heaven.

Pleasure sex laugh sparkle shine spray love lust
Bite the dust. Bite the dust

The night before that I dreamed I shot my lover.
I lay beside him in bed and dreamed this.
The next morning with a friend- Earl Grey, I wondered about the meaning of this.
Floor. Bullets, Blood, Grace
And No bruises. No disgrace

I taste something sweeter
I fall and I see her
I laugh and I'm eager
I swallow and I feed her

I hit the floor and I know where I am.
I am in character and the Academy adores me.
I would like to thank
Floor falling out beneath me. I'm stronger now, Fall harder. Fall faster
Sweet love. Sweet here after.

I fall in love
I fall
I fall
I fall

Move hard fall fast
Beauty my love does not last
Red mouth open wide
C'mon Show me what's inside
Blue sky open wide
C'mon Show me what's inside
Black heart open wide
Let go what's inside

Pleasure love lust sex laugh sparkle shine spray
It's today. No doubt today
Happy today